Christmas - A Reminder to Chill

This post is not only for people with ASD, but also those who suffer from other mental health difficulties such as depression or anxiety (or just anyone really).

Christmas is my favourite time of year. When else is it socially acceptable to buy a whole tin of Quality Street just for yourself? Exactly. But despite my love of Christmas, I still find it quite an overwhelming time of year. My difficulties and idiosyncrasies are still very much there and are often made worse by the added social pressures of the season.

Many people (myself included) struggle with the added social pressures and expectations that come as part of the festive season package. That is why I have come up with a list of things to remind yourself whenever you feel like it's all getting a bit too much for you:

  1. It's OK to want to be by yourself.
  2. You don't have to like ALL of your family ALL of the time.
  3. You don't have to drink or eat anything that you don't want to, even if it's traditional.
  4. You don't have to explain yourself or your opinions to ANYONE
  5. You don't have to like all your presents (or even any of them).
  6. It's OK to not want to do something.
  7. You don't have to hug all of your relatives if you don't want to.
  8. You don't have to make an effort JUST because it's Christmas.
  9. It's OK to go to bed earlier than everyone else.
  10. It's OK to not feel ok, even though it's Christmas.
To sum up:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH JUST BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS AND THAT'S OK.

Ok. So whilst it's important to prioritise your own comfort and happiness, it can be very difficult at this time of year to do anything that could be seen as being anti-social or spoiling the fun, so here is a list of strategies and ideas that could help you out of a tricky situation with minimal drama:

  1. Say you think you've got a cold coming on and you don't want to give it to anybody as an excuse not to hug people.
  2. If you're worried about not liking a present or feel anxious about the whole present unwrapping situation, practice a few phrases in advance that you can say when you open your presents. Things like "Oh wow, this is lovely, thank you!" or "Oh my god this is so cool I love it!" - just make sure that you sound genuine when you say it!
  3. If you have a dog, offer to take it out for a walk as a way of getting some you-time.
  4. If that doesn't work (or you don't have a dog), say that you want some fresh air to work off that lunch (or build up an appetite if it's before the meal).
  5. If you don't want to go outside, say you didn't sleep well last night and want to go for a quick nap.
  6. If all else fails, just take a little bit longer on the loo! Not too long though, or people will think you're unwell.
  7. If someone offers you a drink that you don't want, instead of saying you don't want it, which could arouse questioning, consider saying something like "actually, I was just about to make myself a cup of tea" or "oh I really fancy a coke actually" (other beverages are available).
  8. If you don't want to participate in a game or activity, offer instead to take photos and videos, or to be a points taker/referee. That way, you are still seen to be taking part but you get to be on the sidelines a bit.
  9. Prepare a couple conversation starters to bring up if the conversation gets too political or uncomfortable. This is much better than getting defensive and is less likely to start an argument.
  10. MOST IMPORTANTLY, make sure you tell at least one other person that you're struggling or are likely to struggle so that if you suddenly remove yourself or do something unusual, they can cover for you and pass it off as normal.
Hopefully, these tips will help you make the most out of the festive season with minimal stress or difficulty. If you have any additional strategies for dealing with Christmas then please leave a comment below!

Merry Christmas!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I'm Not a Person With Autism

Person-first language is a pretty hot-button topic at the moment within the ASD community with varying opinions on either side of the argument. For those of you who don't know, person first language is the belief that we should say things like "person with Autism" as opposed to "autistic person". It stems from the idea that a person is more than just their diagnosis and should be treated as such. Interestingly, it is mostly parents and professionals that prefer this terminology, with people who actually have ASD often preferring not to use person first language. You might be thinking "They're basically the same, why does it even matter?", but what it really comes down to is the connotations. Some people dislike "autistic person" because it implies that they are defined by their disability, whilst others dislike "person with Autism" because it implies that they can separate themselves from their disability. Here's the thi...
Read more

What is Asperger's?

Asperger's, short for Asperger's Syndrome, falls under the umbrella term of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). To put it simply, Asperger's is a type of Autism. Whilst there are a few fundamental differences that define Asperger's, the majority of the symptoms are the same for people with Aspergers and Autism alike. So perhaps I should start by defining Autism... Autism is a developmental disorder that is characterised by a few distinctive features. It is important to note that, contrary to popular belief, you cannot catch Autism and you cannot cure Autism . You are born with it and it stays with you throughout your life. What you can do is learn to live with it and develop strategies that help you deal with it and live your life as happily and peacefully as possible. The characteristics of ASD can be largely divided into three key categories which can then be broken down further: Social Difficulties Restricted Behaviours and Interests Sensory Difficulties ...
Read more